I spent so much of my life not being able to do what I wanted, and now I want to do what I want when I want.
I honestly hope I am pregnant in a way, and that all of this is pregnancy emotions, because if not, then I'm heading towards a nervous breakdown and I feel it building. I had my doctor put me on sleeping medication because I wasn't sleeping (obviously) but then when I would sleep I was haunted with nightmares. But the sleeping medicine seems to have amplified my anger and anxiety. Mostly I just miss having friends. I don't have any friends anymore. I have nobody but Dave to talk to. And I love talking to him, but it's not the same. I feel constantly like I'm all alone and I even signed up to sell Mary Kay so i could meet people(how pathetic is that??)
There was a time when I couldn't have friends. And the irony would be that now that I can, I have none.
I just feel so overwhelmed lately. I see my doctor again on the 28th, maybe there's something she can give me that will help with my anxiety that isn't Xanax. Or maybe I need ant anti depressant. I don't honestly know. I feel bad for Dave because he's had to put up with me through all of this, and constanttly keeping me entertained isn't the world's best job, I know. But he does do the best job at calming me down.